JL: And you use a lot of positive reinforcement. What is that in a nutshell?
NB: In scientific theory, there are four quadrants, and positive reinforcement is the R+. That’s where you introduce a positive to reinforce or continue a behavior that you want to continue to see. So that is probably 90% of what we use.
JL: And R+ is a popular training method that emphasizes rewarding good behavior. Now, you have very deep empathy for the struggles that dogs experience. Can you share with us some of your own story, to the degree that you’re comfortable doing so? You had a harrowing upbringing outside of the U.S. as a little girl?
NB: Absolutely. So, I am adopted. I originally came from South Korea, and I know what it’s like to feel abandoned because my mother died suddenly when I was 3 years old. My one and only real memory of her is actually lifting a tarp as she’s lying on the ground and seeing her dead face — her body.
After that incident, my biological father became an extremely abusive alcoholic and tried several times to kill both my brother and myself — until one point, he almost drowned us. That was sort of his wake-up call. He finally decided to give us up for adoption before he went down that final route.
You know, I’ve dealt with all sorts of abuse — from physical to verbal to sexual — so I know what it’s like to deal with that level of abuse. It’s why I have a special affinity for dogs who have experienced abuse from a physical or psychological standpoint. It makes it easier for me to be able to identify and empathize with them, but also to help rehab them because I went through a rehab process myself.
JL: First of all, so sorry about your story and your experience, and thank you for sharing that. It’s very personal. Tell me about the keen ability you have to work with these animals. What’s an experience you can share about that?
NB: Some people call it stubbornness. Some people call it willpower. But I don’t give up — and these dogs don’t give up. Dogs are very unique in that respect. No matter what you do to them — unless it’s to the extreme point — they will always want to bond and give back to humans.
It’s something I identify with, and it’s why I have such a passion to help them out, because in that respect, they are just such unique creatures.
JL: How do you know when you’ve achieved some sort of relationship with a dog that you’re working with — that you’ve achieved the sense of security or the beginning of that? What does that feel like? What’s that aha moment?
NB: So for me, when a dog is acting — almost misbehaving a little bit — getting their personality to come through, their mischievousness to come through, that’s when I know I’ve gotten their trust. Because they trust me enough to misbehave, which is very counterintuitive, but that’s when I know: “OK yes, now I can start working with you and gaining that control, because now you trust me enough to show me your true personality.”
It takes a lot to be a survivor — and not just survive — but overcome and flourish and thrive. That’s really where I want to leave a legacy.
JL: What about the trust with the dog’s owner?
NB: Now, that’s a whole different ball game. It’s a good thing I have a psychology degree.
JL: OK, that’s a whole other conversation. Thank you, Nicole.
NB: Thank you so much. I really appreciate your time.
JL: Nicole Buck is the founder and CEO of Buck’s Dog Training in Mullica Hill, New Jersey, and she spoke with us on WHYY’s “Morning Edition” on National Dog Day.
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